It wasn’t but a year or two later that we moved to the Midwest where life indeed became easier. I decided to segue out of nursing and work for healthcare companies. Cigna, hired me in Chicago in a marketing position. My role was to organize and run health fairs around town for employees looking to sign up for competing health carriers.
One day we went to a local pharmaceutical company. That day we toted our free pens and key chains with the company logo on each and a treasure chest that people could try to win prizes from.
A few gleeful people approached the table saying, I hope I win!
And sure, enough they would. I started to notice a pattern of those who approached the table and saying I think that I am going to win, or I hope that I win, or I usually win, win and those who were negative didn’t. There wasn’t one person who said I don’t usually win, who did.
I remember one man wearing an oversized suit which didn’t quite fit him coming to the table with beads of sweat on his face. We were outside facing the sun, and positioned next to a competitor. As competing company’s we wanted to bring as much attention to our booth as we could. The lunch station was close enough that we could smell the hot dogs and burgers cooking throughout the few hours that we were there.
This gentleman was awkwardly trying to balance everything that he had accumulated, a glass of lemonade and a few tchotchkes he had picked up here and there.
He looked down and then up at me saying, I never win.
I quickly said don’t say that, you might! Try to be positive, I cheered in my sale’s voice.
Even as the words came out of my mouth, I thought of the statistics I had tallied in my mind and knew his chances were slim. But I mused, maybe if he changed his attitude, it could change his luck?
I convinced him to fill out a ticket and when he didn’t win, he looked at me accusingly and said, see and walked away.
This scene became fixed for me, if you say that you will win, you might but if you say you won’t assuredly this will be so.
It was the late 90’s, long before the popularity of vision boards and the power of manifestation paradigms, but this was something I observed firsthand. I have since learned in Astrology that some people’s charts show that they are lucky. Charts flecked with Jupiter, a beneficent have the lucky star aligned. Was it the chicken or the egg? I cannot say.
In addition to carrying around the treasure chest we also had a body fat machine called a Futrex and offered wellness information to the employees. The second epiphany that I had, was that body fat mattered in health more than someone’s weight and it was the intensity of their workouts that determined their body fat. Heavier people who ran or engaged in intense exercise, had lower body fat than seemingly thin people who walked or didn’t exercise. It seemed that it took a certain physical intensity to bring someone’s body fat down. My own high body fat was what started me on my physical fitness and exercise journey that eventually led to yoga.
I liked the prestige of my job at Cigna, but there was a hollowness to it. I felt unsophisticated and disinterested in what my peers in the workplace saw as important. Things like being well coiffed, manicured nails and designer dresses and handbags weren’t important to me. I didn’t care about the prestige and image. I remember standing in a Coach store one day thinking should I buy this bag or quit? I decided to quit instead of the high-priced bag. I wanted to be at my daughter’s softball games and cheering
her on and be home with my son after school, he hated being at the babysitters.
Husband supported my decision to quit my job, and I prayed that we would be ok financially and indeed, it worked out for us.
Not long after I quit, Husband got another job that paid twice as much. Life seemed good or at least I thought it was.